=)

4 hari lagi

Dan aku rasa sangat tak best.

Oh. Mungkin aku akan menyewa di luar menemani Ela cousin sayee..

Ade bilik tu rm150 sorang. Kira rumah tu lengkap lah. Ada air-cond, tv, peti ice, almari, katil, tilam, bantal ade (tapi nak bawak sendiri)

Huh~ Cam menakutkan tapi takpe.. Mari kita cuba dulu !

uh-uh

more animals

I have an issue!

You know what is a really good way to take your mind off your injured heart?
Slam the door on your finger.
Don't just close it, but really slam it good and hard.

Seriously.

And dont read my blog ;) your IP add bebbb.. haha


Thanks PengesanIP!

ngeeee :D

I am amused on how someone can hate me so much! But I don't hate this person in return, instead I pitied her so much!

*Sigh*

Heee :D

Ohh.. before tu lupe nak bagitau - semalam ada anjing warna hitam kejar aku. Pukimak punya anjing ! Aku tau laaa ko marah sebab aku cari gaduh ngan kawan ko dalam blog, jangan la gigit aku ! :( hahahaha.. pastu mummy pergi umah owner anjing bodoh tu.. Mummy cakap "apsall tak jaga dan kurung anjing tu baik-baik..anak saya menangis dan muka dia sangat pucat tau " (seriously, aku memang takut dengan anjing, actually masa aku cite kat mak aku tu, aku menangis sambil gelak-gelak dan mak aku lagi gelakk gila babi sebab muka aku pucat) siot je kan..

Tadaaa... ;)

holdin hand and havin fun ;)
Kekasih, sayee dan Aydeen ;) kitorang cari gak monyet tapi tak nampak sebab monyet tu takde kat sini. ada kat tempat lain. Ha ha ha (gelak jahat)

Semua orang kecuali kekasih ;)

Futnot : better than never. Dari aku duk umah tengok tv, online, makan tidur. Yay! Nak kemas barang dah.. Bye Bye semua orang :D
Nanti balik saya belikan ole ole dari Bali. Beli kerepek pedas dari Bukit Tinggi. Sedap tau.. :D

LETIH!

i am sooooo fucking tired!

Dear Internet

Why laaa Internet suck soo baddddddd...
Sayee naakk tiddoo awall laa sebab todayyy sayee sangat penat ke sana ke mari meraikan harga lantai petrol yang merundum (tak sangat ah)

Nite Nite Malaysia and Be Good !

Age passes by and maturity is improving

I decided to draft my previous entries on the blogging issue

On a positive note, so many things are happening and it’s all scary and exciting! Running on emotional overdrive and it's exhilarating. I'm high on life!

Cherrious people! :D

why like dat one. I very sad leh. Haiyahhhh no gold medal, no one million lor!

About today

and these past few months..

Pheuuww... settle dah semua kerja-kerja aku untuk semester ni. Gila penat boleh? Hm.. tak sangka abes jugak semester ni. Semester yang tough sangat. Alhamdullilah everything's fine. Tinggal satu lagi paper History this Tuesday.

Masih di kampus. Menghabiskan sisa hari di sini sebelum hari selasa. Yeah, malam selasa ada fesyen show. Seriously, m not really interested with modelling. Semua sebab.. semua sebab..

Duit ;)

Yela.. before ni aku banyak tolong budak2 fesyen tanpa bayaran tau tambah lagi kawan-kawan aku sendiri. Tapi apakan daya, pengalaman mematangkan kita. Start daripada aku tahun pertama kat sini lagi aku dah cam dapat pengalaman cam *****. Tapi takpe, seb baik aku cool dan comel dan baik hati.

Hahaha.

Dah la. Nanti sambung. Nak main Saidina =)

Today

“There is only love; everything else is our resistance to it.”

-Terces Engelhart

Effortless nak mampos !

Sakit Hattiiiiiiii....!!

Hmm.. chill sara! Hehe.. semalam aku ke studio fesyen fitting for final design.. Aku fitting baju 3 4 org designer jgak lah.. Try punya try punya try sampai last designer tu yang tersangat sangat tergedik-gedik nak pakai aku untuk fitting baju dia.. Fine, kesian tgk muka desperate dia tu, so aku tolong la pakai tanpa meminta apa-apa bayaran.. FREE okey?

Hmm.. cam rase nak marah lagi je >:(

Pastu boley plak lecturer benti makan plak. Tak kisah lah kan maybe diorang lapar kot.. HMm yang tak puas ati tu..boley plak si designer tu tinggal aku sorang-sorang macam org bodoh ! Hello, im ur model.. jgn la buat aku cam ape plak tunggu ko kat studio dengan baju ko..dah la sexy, tak kisah lah tapi yang nampak janggal bila aku pakai macam tu n duk dlm class. Gila bodoh oke..Dah la aku dah tolong.. haih.. sangat tak mengenang budi !

Hmm.. mampos la diorang nak cakap aku ape ke, dan dengan pantasnye aku gi fitting room tukar baju aku balik n tinggal baju dia ngan heel dia kat situ. Hahaha seronok!

Sorry ar pasni aku tanak tlg ko dah..! weekk!

futnot : diploma show 18th Nov ni aku taknak pakai design ko! Benci..!

Thanks Dabel D =)

Sila klik untuk besarkan
Ni adalah saya. Comel tak ? =)


Ni adalah a piece of my illustrator asgment. Sangat menyakitkan hati. Akan di submit pada 30 okt. Yay! aku pening kepala lagi.

Malas Menaip Buat Masa sekarang

Ok, I takkan percaya orang jahat, ye lah.. I kan naive.. huuu

Raya

Landskap Painting

Budak kecik yang comel kan? Haha
Painting Pondan
Minah Tudung Tepu

PMS

Hari ni aku rasa tak best sangat. Dah la sedang menstruasi. Stress tambah dengan kerja yang sangat banyak. Bukan sangat yang biasa. Tapi sangat-sangat banyak..

Drawing- kanvas sebesar separuh pintu bilik..besar kan?
Glass- kena potong kecik-kecik gila.
Painting- pakai oil paint, lambat kering dan tentu lambat siap
Printmaking - Ecthing besi, cantik dah siap sikit tapi nak kena buat lagi sikit.
Sculpture- Lectrer asik cuti je.. Nasib baik dah siap dah.
Timebased - Pakai Adobe illustrator, pening lah kepala tau tak?

Kerja banyak tapi aku sanggup curi masa sehari dua pergi ubati kebosanan orang.

Tertekan nya rasa dengan gangguan cik kak mana tah. Aku tak tau apa masalah dia. Dah lah, kalau ikut kematangan aku, aku hanya akan cakap "dia memang bermasalah dan jangan layan dia"

Harini ada orang cakap fuck you kat aku. Dia tak pernah pun cepat marah macam harini. Aku memang rasa sedih sangat sampai rasa nak lari jauh jauh panjat langit duduk sorang-sorang atas sana.. Yelah dia dah nak ada kehidupan dia sendiri, sebab harini dia suka suka cakap ayat yang aku tak pernah expect kuar dari mulut dia.. Takpe lah, nak buat macam mana, pasni dia mesti dah tak susah-susah dengan aku.

Serik dan perempuan sangat memberi masalah.. *sigh*

Harini presentation. AKu dapat markah lebih sebab pakai high heel dan kebaya.Haha kelakar kan. Itu je lah benda kelakar yang buat hari aku ceria sikit harini. Tambah lagi dapat duit raya dari lecturer sebab.. sebab aku comel =)

Aku sangat kecewa harini. Aku nak mintak maaf sebab aku ni kadang-kadang annoying gila. Tapi memang aku sedih sangat dan aku takde mood nak layan kawan-kawan dan buat kerja. Tapi aku kena jugak buat keja sebab nanti aku repeat plak..



Futnot : Aku nak terbang pegi langit boleh? <--tak bleh blah

reaching back and out

i did something really dumb today. every now and then i miss people from my past, so i'll look them up on myspace or whatever and try to see how they're doing, what they're up to, etc... well, i went so far back to visit the past that now my heart is heavy. old livejournals with old feelings, old online albums that accidentally got deleted (pictures gone forever!), old email addresses, old personalities,etc...

i'm such a creature of sentiment, to a fault. i find myself missing things i really shouldn't be missing. i look back at all the adventures i used to have and it makes me feel old and depressed.at least it makes me want to make new memories to replace the old ones. i'm getting better at reaching out.

no darkness too dark

fall is finally creeping back in, and i'm beginning to feel more and more alive. ironically, i am also dealing with what is possibly the deepest and darkest thing that i've ever had to deal with in my whole life. i won't go into details for internet's sake but i will say that there is no way i'm letting this 'thing' ruin my fall. fall has been and always will be the most important time of the year for me and, if i can just get my homework/school schedule under wraps, i plan on maxing it out this year.

i am excited for:
bike rides, tea drinking, play counter strike, trips to the orchard, baking, craft times, sweaters, colored leaves, awesome playlists, day trips, quiet time, hoodies, outdoor games, long walks...

what am i missing?

I am looking forward to a very flexible work schedule, finding more classes to take, and both relaxing/adventuring.

what I am about to be

A) Being a woman who "gets" certain things about a man that, in turn, gives me the ability to understand what a man is doing and why... and for I am to be the kind of woman in a relationship that will make him KNOW, with his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, that he wants to be close and connected with me, and only me.

Or...

B) Being a woman who just doesn't understand where he is coming from and why everything has to be so difficult... and sensing that he isn't "there with me"... and not having a man who "feels it" for me on an intense-passionate- gut-reaction-emotional-gotta-be-with-me-or-else kind of level. And after being so depressed of many things about our relationship that seems t0-not-work-out kinda’ thing, I am now, being convinced that he would do up for everything to turn back the score. So back then, he’s the one who are dealing with all the Super-boyfriend he is now.

I am okay with that

Heh

Well..

Nothing interesting about the post, it just need some 'manner' instead of freedom of writing. She's jerk anyway!

Ehem ehem .. :D

Futsal !

Art Festival 2008.

Hm ingatkan tak nak melibatkan diri dengan apa-apa benda sekali pun sebab.. err sebab this weekend lagi penting dari segalanya ;). Em em.. disebabkan kaki aku panjang untuk menyepak bola, badan aku tak gemuk untuk berlarian di gelanggang futsal, muka aku comel untuk menarik perhatian penyokong-penyokong futsal, maka dengan berat hatinya terpaksa lah aku mewakilkan diri untuk department aku. So, game bermula pada jam 5pm. Lawan dengan lecturer lagi nok! Time ni lah aku nak balas dendam ha ha ha. Tapi rasanya lecturer yang banyak balas dendam kat aku. Dah la badan semua ala-ala mak orang, sekali rempuh haa bergolek aku atas padang. Sakit tau ;( Ingat main ragbi ke apa ?!

Pancit gila boleh ! 1st half aku berusaha macam nak rak. Ye lahh, anak dara lagi boleh lah lari laju-laju.. Yang lecturer2 tu semua dah la kena bawak badan lagi, tak cukup nafas lagi. Haha.. Nasib baik team Kitorang memang. Menang la ! Walaupun memang penalti 2-1. Okay arr tu kan.. Sapa yang score kalau tak si kaki panjang, si badan kurus dan si muka comel ni hahaha.. Bangga sekejap bila ada photographer amatur kat fakulti mintak nak tangkap gambar aku.Bangga lagi bila student senior department aku memanggil manggil nama aku.. Fuhh. terasa macam sport star pulak.. ;)

Balik bilik. Badan sakit-sakit. Rasa nak demam pun ada. Ye la, dah lama tak bersukan. Dulu selalu la bersukan, berjogging, merajinkan diri training bila tournament silat dah nak dekat. Tu pun a weeks before. BUkan macam orang lain yang bila ada tournament ke takde ke tetap training. Haih..

Badan sakit.. Tu lahhh, tak warm up lagi. Paddaaaann laa muke.. Tengah merehatkan diri tiba-tiba dapat mms.

Addaaaa oooorraang tuuuu kaann.. dia hantar sms dekat saya. Gambar dia main bola sorang-sorang kat balkoni rumah dia.. Dia pun nak jugak :D Okay lah tu, sepatutnya awal-awal lagi dia ajar saya main bolaaa laa.. tgk, saya dah tercedera sebab tak pandai gelecek bola macam Ronaldiho dah haa..

Nanti jumpa weekend ni ajar I main bola okey sayang.

Hari ni hari khamis. Masuk semi final. Seboleh-boleh nya semalam aku nak kalah sebab takyah masuk final. Sebab final hari Sabtu. Hari sabtu aku busy dengan yang tercinta :D Tapi tah la macam mana boleh aku ter score semalam kan. Ter menang pulak. Ter paksa lah main hari ni. Takpe nanti kalau masuk final, suruh sayang saya hantar saya balik kampus balik en en. Nak ke taknak ? Cakap nak cepattt...!!

:) I is Miss you so much. I is wanna hug u. Kuat-kuat. I issssss wanna kiss you. Muahh

July 05 2008

Kelas pertama untuk semester baru tahun kedua bermula seawal jam 8 pagi. Awal. Awal bagi aku yang sepanjang cuti 2 bulan di rumah terjaga dari tidur bila cahaya matahari dah masuk rumah ataupun paling tidak panggilan dan bunyi mesej di pagi hari.

Sara kena kuat!
Sara kena ada matlamat!
Sara kena bersemangat!

Jadi selama ni?!

Semester ni aku jadi parasit (lagi) Tapi bezanya semester ni induk aku semua best. Satu bidang dan satu kelas. Cumanya masalah aku dengan mereka-mereka ni; bangun terlalu awal. Terpaksa la aku pun ikut bangun. Tapi tak menjadi masalah besar pun. Hari ni pun aku orang terakhir yang bangun. Terakhir bermakna bila seisi bilik dah ke bilik air dan orang pertama yang selesai mandi sampai ke bilik, baru aku bangun dari katil.

Tenghari tadi jugak ada sorang kawan datang mengadu kat aku pasal boyfriend dia. Boyfriend dia ada pompuan lain yang digelar "sahabat" (katanya). Tapi bukan main nak menangkan sahabat dia tu sampai ketepikan rasa cemburu si girlfriend. Si boyfriend tu dah pinggirkan dia sebab semata-mata dia cemburukan hubungan si lelaki dengan sabahatnya tu. Sekarang ni dia dah digantung tak bertali. Dia disuruh si boyfriend jangan dicari lagi. Kesian. Sah-sah lah wei, kalau dia sayang kan takkan lah dia nak menangkan pompuan lain ye tak. Dia minta pendapat aku. Aku senang saja. Break up. Itu sahaja solution dia. Jalan terbaik.Tapi dia tak boleh. Nangis nangis dia cakap biarlah boyfriend dia ada pompuan lain pun. Dia tetap rasa boyfriend dia still ok padahal obvious sangat dah tak nak teruskan relation. Bodoh punya lelaki. Err.. jantan!

Kamu tahu apa beza lelaki dan jantan kan.

"Learn to let go something good for something better. Ko tak payah fikir kebaikan dia or keburukan dia. Fikir, dia ada buat ko happy tak? Wei, everything happen for a reason la. Tuhan ambil something dari kau sebab dia nak gantikan sesuatu yang lebih baik. Ko tak payah nak hiraukan dia lah. Sama macam aku dulu, masa aku dengan ***y. Untill this very day i still carry the pain but i trained myself to ignore them. Aku ignore sampai satu masa tuhan gantikan dia dengan somebody yang lebih baik. Yang lebih buat aku happy. Yang aku rasa tuhan baik sangat sebab bagi aku dia. The best thing is cuba jaga sebaik mungkin. Tapi kalau aku jadi ko, aku break je hehe. Ye la, maybe personaliti kita berbeza kot. Aku taknak tunjukkan yang aku lemah. Aku nak tunjukkan yang kalau takde dia pun aku boleh hidup. Bla bla bla..."

Ceramah pertama semester ini. Percuma.

Dia dah balik bilik dia. Aku taktau la apa decision dia. Tapi tu lah, aku tak suka perempuan lembik yang terlalu harapkan lelaki ada dalam hidup dia walaupun terang terangan lelaki tu mainkan dia. Kalau nak setia sangat pun bertempat la kan. Takkan sampai nak dia pijak kepala kita. Aku punya pengalaman yang sama. Terserempak si kekasih berpegangan tangan dia kompleks membeli belah. Bila mata dia pandang mata aku, serta merta tangan dilepaskan dengan harapan aku tak perasan dan dengan harapan aku boleh sesenang cool. Tangan aku laju saje hantar mesej,"Fuck you" berserta smiley senyum. Dan itu jugak lah pengakhiran sebuah cerita fantasi dia seorang, bukan aku. Kumbang bukan seekor. Banyak.

Dan untuk mana-mana perempuan, kumbang banyak. Tapi jauhi kumbang aku. Atau mungkin kumbang aku tak mahu hinggap pada kamu. He he he.

Kesimpulannya aku tak suka perempuan lembik. Girl, please. Be strong. Jangan cengeng sangat.

Bye Bye rumah

Dah 2 bulan !

Dah nak masuk semester baru boring nye..

:( :(

Dah tak boleh nak bangun lambat.
Dah tak boleh nak lepak lepak lagi.
Dah tak boleh nak jalan-jalan.
Dah tak boleh selalu dating.

Aku dah kurus. Tidak! Kena gemuk balik sikit sebab kurus itu buruk sekali. Orang-orang kurus memang buruk sangat. My hunny baby pun tak suka si kurus.

4 Julai 2008.

Masa, sebolehnye tolong la perlahan kan sikit perjalanan kamu ya?

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY

lets see if I can get through it. Sure I can!

Shortest relationship?:
err. i did date someone that only went on for 3 weeks. eheh. does that count as a relationship? if not, then, 2 months.

Longest relationship?:
almost 2 years

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?:
3 out of 4, but then, i don't think half of them knew what love really is, nor did they mean it..

Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?:
i'm a hopeless romantic,.. so yeah, i suppose i did.

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
not that i wanted to.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?:
it really depends on the circumstances. i have experienced being both happy and miserable while i was single, and i have been both happy and unhappy in a relationship before.

Have you ever been cheated on?:
not that i know of..

What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
for some weird reason, guys make great friends. good company, great listener, among others.

Have you ever broken someone's heart?:
yeah, apparently i'm like this evil witch from hell who preys on innocent saints whose love for me is always pure and true. i'm aaaaaaaalll bad and them guys are aaaaalllllll good. still feeling sorry for yourself? here's a thought -- go jack off in hell before you slowly die of dehydration from all that crying and jacking off.

Talk to any of your exes?:
most of them are on good terms with me, but we don't keep in touch.

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?:
i wouldn't know actually, he's the only one who can be the judge of that i suppose. gee i hope i am, i try to be.

Have you dated people who were not good to you?:
yes i have, and i thank god for finally giving me the strength to leave. funny how i am now being condemned for liberarting myself.

Have you been in an abusive relationship?
emotionally abusive, yes.

Have you ever dated someone older than you?:
3 out of 4 of them were. including the one now.

Younger?
no

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
it really depends on what happened,.. and a whole lot of other circumstances. but then people are always given so many chances, yet they blow every one of them cos they take their partners for granted, and then regret it. i sometimes don't see the point in second chances.

Ever dated two people at once?:
i don't think i'd want to get myself into something as complicated as that..

Ever been given an engagement ring?
no.. god had His own ways of saving me HAHA

Do you want to get married?
yes, i would love to.

Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
hahaha i think i already did

Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
i don't think so. love happens at free will.

Ever liked someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend?
ofcourse! hotties are always taken!

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?:
probably worst.

Are you happy with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
never happier in my entire life!

The Coolest!

27/5/08

It's my daddy's birthday. I sent him a message and called him last night.

Me : Happy birthday! I love you! so, what do you wish?

Daddy : Thanks my notty girl. I love you too. Wish ? I want to be more kaya ! So that i can spend more for you.

Me : I know. Thats why i call you. So tomorrow could please bank in some money for me. Hehe Im running our of crdt. Tukar maxis lah. Good Nite !

Daddy : Haha..workhard, dont ever left behind. Good nite honey.

Happy birthday ! You're the coolest daddy in the world =)

Good Bye Malaysia!

Gonna miss you!

Odisi kita ke Penang ;-)

14 May 08

Hari ni saya rasa sangat-sangat happy sebab saya berjaya lakukan apa yang saya nak sangat buat dari dulu. Lagi, bersama dengan orang yang saya sangat sayang hehe.
Perjalanan panjang yang sangat menerujakan. Train yang tak sejuk sangat tak best lah. Tapi perjalananan selama lebih 9jam tu saya rasa macam sekejap sangat je :( Breakfast di Butterworth dan hirup angin pagi Penang ;) Lain kali sayang kita pergi lagi ok :D

No Sub

Kalau korang orang orang yang aku kenal terserempak dengan aku dan aku dah tak melayan korang macam dulu, maknanya tu aku dah tak suka korang. Aku dah penat jadi peramah dan bosan untuk buat lawak menggembirakan hati korang. Korang sila jangan jadi hipokrit sangat sebab aku dah meluat. Aku pun tak nak jadi hipokrit. Oleh itu jangan terkejut kalau aku dah tak senyum selebar dulu dan aksi-aksi comel aku buat lawak sudah tiada.

Sekarang ialah masa untuk aku habiskan bersama orang-orang yang aku suka sahaja.

Berambus.

Attension

Temporaryly close

I am concentrating on my vacation.

See, Ikan yang comel

Saya rindu

Saya rindu famili saya
Sini sunyi dan busy dengan kerja-kerja saya

Saya rindu rumah saya
Sini ade katil, locker ngan meja study je

Saya rindu bilik saya
Bilik sini sempit dan bersepah

Saya rindu sofa rumah saya
Kerusi meja study saya keras

Saya rindu tv rumah saya
Sini kalau nak tengok tv kena tengok ramai-ramai. Kadang-kadang berebut chanel. Sebab tu sepanjang semester ni saya tak pernah pergi ke bilik tv. Baik tidur.

Saya rindu peti ais rumah saya yang banyak makanan
Di sini saya selalu lapar malam-malam makan meggi je dengan roti je

Lambatnya 5 may ;(

Minggu yang Letih. Bye Bye Kampus

Myself ;)
Malam sebelum accessment work-work aku

Shoes-Paling suka putih converseku

Lorong Gelap

Haih Rindu lah nanti

See, sesat! My adorable between Sharir and Akim

Art NiTe

My Studio

Classmate

My work, Bed and Suppppyyyy

Itu sahaja. Aku sudah malas mahu menaip buat masa sekarang. Kerja masih banyak.

Tata

Lain kali

Aku baru bangun tidur.

2.43pm. Aku tahu dah hampir separuh hari Isnin baru aku mula buka mata. Ada 3 lagi accessment untuk work-work aku. 30 April, 2 May dan 5may. Juga kertas terakhir pada 11May sebelum aku mula bercuti panjang. Hip hip hooray!

Semalam tengahari aku keluar memberi barang-barang untuk esemen Interior Architecture Department. Pergi dengan sepupuku Ela. Beli di Air Tawar di mana jarak dari kampus aku ke tempat tu adalah lebih kurang 25km (kot). Sampai je tempat tu, kedai kusyen tutup. Kusyen untuk esemen Furniture Design. Watta hell? Lupa semalam hari Ahad :(

Semua kedai tutup boleh?! Kedai Cina je lah.

Lepas tu aku patah balik ke kampus dan pergi ke Artistry yang berdekatan dengan kampus aku. Nasib baik bukak. Memang sudah dijangkakan akan buka walaupun hari Ahad. Biasa la orang melayu. Ahad pun dia kira apa. Janji duit. Melayu sekarang dah tak malas lagi. Bertungkus lumus diorang cari duit walaupun hari Ahad.

Siapa kata melayu lupa? Melayu mudah lupa tu adalah hidup dalam zaman pemerintahan Tun Mahathir dulu. Bila Tun Mahathir dah letak jawatan dan orang lain ambik alih jawatan beliau, baru lah Melayu mula sedar yang keistimewaan diorang(kita) sebagai orang melayu mula akan di"anaktiri"kan. Abaikan.

Lepas tu, pergi ke kedai yang bersebelahan dengan UTP. Jeng jeng jeng! Tayar kereta pecah di tepi jalan. Panas tak ingat ok semalam. Spare tyre ada, jet ada, spanar ada, semua adalah. Tapi malangnya aku memang tak tahu lansung nak tukar tayar kereta. Nak guna jet pun aku tak reti lansung. Menyesalnya tak belajar. Dulu kalau kereta ayah tayar pecah, ayah akan tukar dan aku tunggu tepi je. At last, aku telefon classmate aku yang gagah perkasa sikit (sebab kawan-kawan lelaki aku ramai yang lembut lembik dan sebagainya) datang dan tolong tukar tayar. Lepas tu kena belanja diorang makan. Nasib baik ada kawan-kawan kan.

Haih moral : Lain kali belajar tukar tayar sendiri (Tapi nampak semalam macam susah je nak tukar)

*sigh*

4.44pm. Aku tak mandi lagi tapi dah cuci muka dan gosok gigi. Buat milo dan minum. Tu lah breakfast, lunch dan tea time aku untuk hari ni.

Buka Microsoft Word. Sekarang tengah buat journal untuk subjek printmaking dan sculpture.

Damien Rice - I Remember sedang berkumandang.

"Nah, tak makan lagi kan? " (Sambil hulurkan nasi goreng ada 2 ketul hotdog)

Thanks a lot ^_^

Sambung buat journal aku.

Sekarang pukul 8.32pm. Aku baru lepas mandi. Lepas mandi, aku pandang cermin tiba-tiba aku nangis. Aku tau aku nangis sebab aku tensen. Sebab aku sakit hati. Sebab aku rasa aku perlu kuat dengan decision aku. Aku menangis sebab aku dah letih.

Sambung kerja.

Or you want me to translate this in any language?

About Me:

I am not complicated, although I'd like you to think I am. Blog bercampur bahasa. Cuba bereksperimentasi dengan Bahasa Malaysia dan Bahasa Inggeris. Blog ini ditulis berdasarkan apa yang saya fikir atau rasakan. Tiada unsur-unsur fitnah dan hasad dengki di sini. Kalau kamu seorang yang sensitif dan tidak cukup kuat untuk menerima kenyataan, sila lah jangan berani ambil risiko untuk mengguris hati sendiri dengan membaca tulisan-tulisan saya.

Trimas ;)

Chelsea anyone?

Tentang aku.

Punya abang. Bongsu dan satu-satunya anak perempuan dalam keluarga.Sedikit sebanyak mempengaruhi hidup aku yang selalu dimanjakan dan dituruti setiap apa yang dimahukan.

Aku tahu kadang-kadang aku ni agak melampau.

Marah si adorable dan off handphone sekejap sebab dia sokong Liverpool dari sokong Chelsea walaupun dia peminat setia Manchester United (Fuck Ok?) Marah sebab bila aku call dan paksa dia cakap "I SOKONG CHELSEA SEBAB I SAYANG SARA! FUCK LIVERPOOL!" kuat-kuat. Dia tahu aku die hard fan Chelsea. Saya ada jersey Chelsea okaaayy hehe. Aku marah sebab dia taknak ikut cakap aku. Actually, aku nak kan hiburan dari dia sebab aku tension dengan work-work aku kat UTAN ni. Aku marah dia sanga sangat sebab dia tak cakap apa yang aku suruh !

Aku tahu aku gila.

Aku off handphone(sekejap) Lepas tu on balik dan 2 mesej masuk.

Senyum. Tak puas hati. Terus keras kepala.

"Syg 2nd team I liverpool lah.. Kalau Chelsea vs Man Utd, you nak pilih siapa?"

Tak reply.

"Syg, I dah odw pergi tgk bola ni."

Senyap.

Tengok handphone. Takde msg pun. Tiba-tiba

"Liverpool 1 Chelsea 0. Huhu"

What should I care ! Go to hell!

"What the hell is goin on ? Hahaha"

Go and fuck with ur liverpool team !

"Ok syg, I sokong Chelsea ye.. I g tgk ngan aqim jek..siap kene gelak, baru habis 1st half"

Aku senyum meleret. That's why I love him. He's so sweet. So smooth. So cool. Dan makin lama dia makin faham aku sebab aku tahu tak ramai yang mampu memahami "kegilaan" aku.

Tapi tak tahu lah sampai bila dia mampu memahami aku. Aku selalu sedar yang aku tak patut buat macam tu. Tapi tu lah aku. Take it or leave it. Wah statement berani uols!

Aku hangin pasal team bola je. Tak ke gila? Oh mungkin aku masih "budak" haha. Whatever u say, Im happy being me.

Kadang-kadang.

Haih.

Tonite

Aku baru siapkan painting aku. Cantik sangat ok! Haha but seriously, tak sangka yang itu adalah hasil tangan aku sendiri hehe. Submit esok. Tadi paper English. Ok lah, boleh je siap keluar awal lagi nok. Macam mane ?

Received msg from my bro:

Dia: Fuck !

Aku :what's up?! Tiba-tiba je.

Dia :Boleh bayangkan tak rasa sakit putus cinta?

ahhhh...Sudah...silap orang la dia tanya aku..

Aku :Finally :) Putus cinta memang best. I have already advice u that u must be careful. U chose, u have to face it. That's normal ok. We're still with u no matter what..

Dia: Bastard!! Love suxs so much!! Aku dah taknak dah! Sampai bila-bila!

Aku: Cool down. Pegi semayang bagi sejuk sikit.

Tak reply.

"Aku dah taknak dah! Sampai bila-bila!"

Aku nak simpan mesej tu.

Sebenarnya, mula-mula aku rasa sedikit bersalah sebab aku pernah gaduh dengan abang aku pasal that girl dan dia menangkan gadis itu daripada menangkan aku >:( Aku ada sebab kenapa aku tak setuju dan tak perlu lah aku nyatakan di sini sebab-sebabnya. At last jadi macam ni, so aku rasa bukan salah aku bencikan dia.

Aku : Jangan buat benda bodoh..Evrything happen for a reason.. Sorry.. Nite!

Aww..How sensitive u are?

Ym :Kiddonames4r4h@yahoo.com
Registered : 2003 (kot)

I was kid that time ;) Still, I am.

Hey, saya punya silent reader okeeeeeeyyy.. ;)

Puh-leasee.....! Im better than you i know that. I am 20 y/0. Hot diggity damn. You know who u are when u were 20?

Eeeuww..

Sarah ! So full of urself arent ya?

Dan blog ni tiada cerita-cerita tentang social life aku yang sudah muak aku lalui yang biasa nya dilalui kebanyakkan perempuan pada usia yang agak ehem ehem.

Teruskan menyedapkan hati sendiri dengan cerita-cerita.

You're so funny when u mention that________________ bla bla bla.. saya tak habis baca pun. Tak berminat dengan orang yang tengok cerita melayu di petang hari.

Yeah, Sangat kelakar kerana bekerja keras untuk membuktikan kebahagian sendiri. Mudah-mudahan impian tu tercapai laa.. Bukan dalam tulisan je semata-mata.

Oh ok ok.. Harus berhenti

HikHik

Good Luck Baby ;) (You know who u are)

I dont wan to samak my page nemore

Thats so fatique

Kesian lah..

Laptop yang sudah beroperasi selama 5 hari berturut-turut.Tidak puas hati kalau kamu dibuang terus dalam hidupnya? Oh atau mungkin kamu lupa tentang bekas parut yang kamu tinggalkan.

Kami bukan anti teknologi, kami punya blog, kami baca blog (termasuk yang kamu punya) Hak kamu mahu menulis tapi tu lah..Saya tak peduli. Blog kamu.

Anyway, jangan jadi macam conversation yang di bawah ini.

[3:04] X: patung-patung spongebob yang sara bagi pun X simpan lg
[3:05] X: gambo kena koyak separuh tu pun ada lagi
[3:05] X: tak malu dah bagi kat orang amik balik
[3:27] X: lama tak jumpa sara...
[3:27] s4r4h: xnak jumpa...
[3:27] s4r4h: hek
[3:27] s4r4h: kalau jumpa pun nak bagi tangan X berkecai je padan muka
[3:28] Meebo Message: you went offline
[3:28] Meebo Message: you came online
[3:28] s4r4h: dc plak...
[3:28] s4r4h: haih
[3:29] X: nak bagi berkecai tangan orang??
[3:29] X: kira marah lagi la tu kat X
[3:29] X: takmo jumpa la... takut
[3:29] s4r4h: hurm..
[3:30] s4r4h: asal ym arini?
[3:33] X: banyak hari dah rasa nak ym
[3:33] X: tapi rasa macam sara benci kat X
[3:34] Meebo Message: you went offline

Hey, kamu menyakiti saya lebih dari apa yang kamu rasakan. Tak mungkin saya akan benarkan kamu masuk ke dalam hidup saya kembali dan siapa kata saya sudah maafkan kamu? Sedangkan nabi ampunkan umat? Maaf, aku tak semulia nabi-nabi kita.

Siapa peduli ? Aku tak peduli pun.

p/s: Kalau lah blog ini diambil kira sebagai tambahan markah untuk asgment painting saya, dah tentu saya dapat lebih markah ! ehehe sebabnya masa saya banyak dihabiskan mengadap tingkap bilik ini sambil memandang monitor dari membuat painting. Ups harus berhenti ! Accessment Rabu ini. TIdakkk!!

My other weary...

There was once when I talked actively, but then it was a disaster. I've found my self shutting down, and being told to be good girl by not talking so much in the same way for complaining, because somehow they’ve said that I didn't see the perspective and too naive to see things right. It's been a very tough decision for me and took me several days to debate with my own self. I was confused between shares for the sake of truth of keeps it up for my long term "security tenure". By the end, I choose to follow this way, and indeed, it works. Less I talk, then less people knew what I am thinking off and guess you’re right, it’s much better for my own comfort (I knew this is wrong) but under my consciousness, assuming the condition whereas people in our world are talking in each other back (I realized you already knew this) I think this is the best way.

I don't know much about theory of relativity, I can't make a rational budget, I don't even start to make my own assgment, it will took me centuries to do that within the today’s condition. I'm never underestimate my self of my ability (it just the matter of time, guess I’m trying to be positive here).

People like me, is not looking for anything, I have nothing to loose. I just want everything start well and end well. You offered me many times to feel free to talk to you, but I didn't see that it would makes any differences so I just kept it to my self, but since I'm going, I think you should knew by the end what's on my mind. I am truly disappointed above all, I'm not perfect, but the best I get by involved with all of you in this world is that I've learnt a lot from the mistakes that you are all made. I do have more mistakes, but these become my weakness to take a lesson learnt and look inside me to reflect, I have my high pride to do so. The difference between all of us in this life is just the motivation, some of us work for money, but some of the other really works for living. I am disappointed, that's true...that's why I am standing this way. Sure, there'll comes a day when I'm speaking up to be heard, but I guess that place is not here among all of you, we're not talking in the same language here.

I never loose my hope to you. I'm not critics (that's out of my league), I just want to describe you the facts from my perspective.

Just ignore this creepy massage if you didn't think so

April 2008

Cari Publisiti letak gambar aku mula-mula sekali ngiaahaha

Myself ;)

Captured by me

11 April 2008
Happy Birthday Sayang yang ke-.....! (sorry lambat)
*similar cupcakes. Semua orang makan sampai habis tak sempat snap*

Ordered those cupcakes from here.
Theme : Football Mad Nation

Sedap kan? ;) Comel jee..Lebih sedap dari Cuppacakes wondermilk kan ehehe Nanti kita order lagi eh?

Lewat seminggu but still tak cukup sebulan so let celebrate yours until 11May2008 hehe

Huu.. Saya doakan kamu gembira selalu
Senyum 24jam
Kesihatan yang baik
Masa depan yang cerah
Kehidupan yang tenang
Hati yang kuat
Jiwa yang bersih
Kena selalu kuat ok?

Muahx!

I is love you so much!

Untuk siapa siapa aja

Let bygone be bygone. Saya ialah berumur 20tahun. Ye betul! sangat muda kalau mahu dibandingkan dengan cik. Cuba imbas kembali cik semasa berumur 20tahun dulu dan kita berdiri sama-sama?

Saya tak suka cakap besar tapi kadang-kadang tak dapat nak mengawal diri sendiri dari terpaksa. Hmmm =)

Actually saya tak mahu menulis perihal re-la-ti-on-sheep dalam blog ini. Malas mahu menyamak page ni sebab tahu tahu lah kan Malaysia ni dah pesat membangun, tanah pasir pun dah susah nak cari. Macam mana mahu samak nanti? Tak perlu memnyusahkan diri memasuki dan menembusi pasaran kehidupan saya atau kami.

Whooopps...! Sorry, too much pulak saya ni ;)

Macam malam hari tu di kala kami sedang.... oppps! Hahha sedang tengok bola lah~ Man Utd vs Arsenal (kot). Kami memang sama-sama suka tengok bola ;) Bahagia kan? Ye, saya akan cuba selalu bahagiakan dia walaupun saya tak berjanji sebab promises are made to be broken ye dak? Yela nanti kalau selalu bagi dia sedih nanti dia merajuk, dia manja dan baik sangat. Macam alyaa, aydeen, afsyar ngan atilia. Manja macam pakcik dia jugak ;)

Teknologi ni memang macam bangsat kadang-kadang ;)

Saya tahu lagi adab-adab menjaga hati orang.

Dan saya harap ini adalah entri terakhir berkaitan negative relation-sheep.

Terima kasih cik. Sayang cik muah muah!

Work saya bertimbun mahu disiapkan. Painting !!

Sigh

I am learning to love you more

Depression

Kamu semua,

Pernah tak satu-satu masa kamu rasa macam tak mahu lalui apa yang sedang kamu lalui? Tapi kamu terpaksa lalui. Dalam situasi ini tiada yang menyokong kamu (menyokong?). Dan kamu rasa macam loser paling handal dalam dunia.

Saya sedang lalui benda yang sama. Rasa macam mahu lari.

Siapa-siapa mahu ikut ??

Tinta Jumaat

I've got a boyfriend now
He's my dearest pal
He's always catch me when i fall
He's always there when i call

I've got a boyfriend now
He always laughs so loud

I share my dreams and all my stories
I don't think i need my diary
If you're teasing me, don't worry?
I will keep you in my memories

When my boyfriend smiles
The world seems all mine
And all the days seem truly fine
MAke me reach up for the sky

Me and my boyfriend now
We're moving slow
Cuz i've lot of things to do

Now,
When im blue. feel so lonely
No one sits here right beside me
I'm gonna call you just to hurry
come and see me
it's so scary and I need you desperate
but
but but..

I know, Manchester United is more more more important than me

Go and fuck with Ryan Giggs or Christiano Ranaldo

I wanna sleep for a while

Just for a while.

Internet, Why do you suck so bad?

I'm not making this up. I turned on my laptop today, and was thinking "UiTM wi fi *always* break when I use them." And then the internet stopped working with an serious pop up of "This internet connection has limited or no connectivity".

And so, just when I want to start my life back with internet, I've been banned.
I hate you internet
Hate
You.

Rahsia besar saya

Harini biarlah semua nya terbongkar, biarlah teman lelaki saya nak cakap apa pun. Cakap saya curang ke, gatal ke apa ke. Janji saya puas hati sebab dah luahkan apa yang dah lama terbuku di hati ni.

saya memang dah lama suka kan kamu
tapi saya takut teman lelaki saya fikir lain pula
sebenarnya saya dah lama jatuh cinta dengan kamu
sebelum saya kenal teman lelaki saya lagi
kalau diberi pilihan, memang la saya akan pilih teman lelaki saya
tapi kamu tetap dalam hati dan fikiran saya
saya selalu tidur mimpi kamu
makan ingat kamu
mandi terbayang kamu
segala-galanya nya lah ada kamu dan diselang seli kan dengan imej teman lelaki saya
tu lah.. cinta kita terhalang

sebab..


saya takda duit lagi. Kalau ada duit, dah pasti saya sanggup madukan kamu dengan teman lelaki saya. Biar lah dia tak puas hati pun kalau saya lebih sayang kan kamu.

Oh Canon EOS 400D.

Tapi kalau tak beli kamu pun, saya nak cuba dapatkan Nikon D40x.

Kamu betul-betul buat hidup saya tak tenang.

Oh how so true

sometimes you think the person u love the most will be the one that protects you from everything. But in true fact, people u love the most always end up hurting you the most.

It only takes a few seconds to hurt people you love, and it can take years to heal

Happy Birthday To Me

Hey everyone, its my birthday!

Yup, in the next few hours is my birthday; a whopping 20th now. Hot diggity damn. No more teen ok Sara. So you should be a nice girl :)

Well, below this might be just a creepy resolution for my new age but at least i have something to achieve in my life. Am i right ?

I , Sarah have been living on this blessed earth for 20 years today.
This is the first day I questioned the sense of my life is it making any sense or is it non-sense? I believe we all should live our lives with a sense of purpose from the simplest of the mundane routine of going to school we all must put in the most effort to accomplish our every goals and purpose in life.

After a while or maybe just 5 minutes ago we have one focus in mind what I must accomplish within this day... After a while we forget and got easily distracted by other maybe interesting thing that I saw along the way to the goal that I want to achieve.

To many distractions until I cannot tell the difference between distractions and my personal goal!

This is WHAT I Want in My life!

I want to be a Visual Artist
I want to be a Artist (have a studio/workshop where I can produce painting)
I want to teach Art in a primary school ( i love kids)
I want to earn a lot of money.
I want to be with someone that can make me laugh everyday even cry with me and can stay with me no matter what happen.
And most importantly I want to be a very good person while achieving all my many goals in life

There you have it My own goals to achieve in my life time!
What is your purpose and what do you want in life?
Be specific and practical about it ok ; )

I Love U Mum !

"Tahan je la untuk 2 tahun ni. Biar susah setahun dua ni, jangan susah bertahun-tahun sebab setahun dua ni lah nak tentukan apa akan jadi kat sarah untuk bertahun-tahun lagi"

Kata mak aku bila aku merungut yang kerja aku banyak untuk semester ni.

Oh sambung work printmaking aku. Work dah semakin bertimbun macam semak samun.

Am i that bad?

Dulu, aku selalu fikirkan yang aku ini seorang yang independent. Aku bangga dengan diri aku sendiri sebab aku tak suka bergantung dengan orang sikit pun aku tak suka. Dari zaman kecil aku lagi, zaman sekolah rendah, sekolah menengah sampai lah aku sekarang aku masih belajar di salah satu universiti tempatan di Malaysia, aku bebas buat keputusan untuk diri sendiri. Aku buat keputusan untuk ambil jurusan yang aku suka tanpa bantahan dari siapa-siapa. Tak macam kawan aku yang ambil jurusan perakaunan, hatinya pada fotografi tapi atas desakan ayahnya dia disuruh memilih perakaunan yang langsung dia tak suka. Mungkin ayah dia tahu apa yang terbaik untuk dia kot tapi tu lah kesiannya tak dapat nak buat apa yang kita mahu dalam hidup kita. Sayangnya, hidup kita sekali je. Berbalik pada cerita aku yang kononnya independant tu. Memang dari kecil aku tak bergantung sangat pada orang, mungkin adalah aku bergantung pada mak aku untuk uruskan hidup aku sebab aku ni pemalas sikit. Tapi sekurang-kurangnya aku tak manja dan mengada-ngada macam kawan aku yang nama Ana satu kelas dengan aku. Tiap pagi dia akan datang ke bilik aku untuk kelas bersama-sama.

"Sara cepat lah bangun..Ana taknak laaa pegi class sorang-sorang.."

"Sara, Ana gemuk ke? Macam ni Ana taknak makan tengahari laah peha Ana dah besar.."

"Sara, Sara dah siap dah sculpture? Ana punya asyik pecah jee.. sikit-sikit ana buat tak jadi..tensen Ana tau

"Sara, petang ni teman Ana pegi artistry ye..Ana nak beli barang, Ana taktau nak pilih yang mana satu...Ana takut lah pegi sorang.."

AKU RIMAS dengan benda-benda macam ni tiap hari.

Ops! Tutup cerita pasal Ana. Kang tak pasal-pasal dosa berganda. Actually, aku nak bagi contoh je. Aku tahu la yang aku taklah seteruk dia tapi kadang-kadang aku terfikir yang adakah SARA ni terlalu bergantung pada orang? Aku dah rasa yang aku ni cukup berdikari cuma dalam satu-satu masa aku memerlukan juga pertolongan bila aku dah betul-betul buntu. Selalu nya bila aku dah start menangis tu la tahap ke"berdikari"an aku dah hilang.

"I wont say that I know what you are going through but I can relate to it. It is not I want to ignore you but I need you to understand that you are not the only thing that revolve around me. I have my work, my problems, my demanding clients and many more. I am sorry that i cant cater to your need. And dont say that I have changed cause you dont really know me yet.I choose you cause I thought that you are independant and self reliant but soo far you had shown that you are not"

Dia adalah sejarah aku. Hanya sebab aku mintak dia teman aku untuk shoot gambar dia cakap aku tak independant.Aku mengamuk sebab dia dah janji dengan aku untuk siapkan assignment aku. Sejak pada tu, memang aku tak pernah nak demand apa-apa dengan dia. Sampaikan minyak kereta habis pun orang pertama yang aku fikir bukan dia. Bayangkan, orang yang terpenting dalam hidup aku(satu masa dulu) tak berada dalam list teratas dalam otak aku untuk aku mintak tolong. Sedaya upaya aku cari kawan-kawan aku yang lain sebab tak mahu digelar non-self reliant.

Dan kejadian baru-baru ni berlaku pun buat aku rasa yang aku tak perlu menangis dan bergantung pada orang lain. Dalam minggu lepas dan minggu sebelumnya, aku dah banyak bazirkan air mata. Bazirkan untuk kawan-kawan punya cerita, assignment punya cerita dan baru-baru ni sebab benda bodoh je. Sebab geram pada benda yang tak bernyawa pun boleh buat aku menangis padahal ada cara lain nak selesaikan benda tu cuma aku je tak berharap sangat pada benda yang takkan jadi (isi tersirat sikit) Mungkin sebab aku rasa aku ada seseorang.Benda tu yang buat aku jadi lemah padahal sebelum ni aku tahu aku tak macam tu.

Abaikan lah. Yang pasti, aku nak cuba jaga diri sendiri. Aku nak cuba atur hidup aku sendiri. Aku taknak susahkan orang lain. Aku nak berdiri atas kaki sendiri bukan pijak kaki orang lain lagi.


Sedikit sebanyak.


Tak kisahlah.

I'm gonna live today like its my last day.

Kata orang, masa kita kecil kita diibaratkan sehelai kain putih. Mak dan ayah kita yang bertanggungjawab mencorakkan kain putih tu dengan warna yang pelbagai supaya boleh digunakan bukan untuk dijadikan perca semata-mata untuk masa hadapan.Ketika waktu membesar dulu, aku memang anak yang paling manja sebab aku dilahirkan menjadi satu-satunya anak perempuan dalam keluarga, bongsu pulak tu. Memang aku dibesarkan tanpa sebarang tekanan yang melampau. Mempunyai seorang ibu yang tidak terlalu tegas dan berprotokol dalam hal mendidik anak-anak membuatkan aku jadi selesa dengan apa yang dia lakukan dan dengan apa yang aku ada. Tapi implikasinya membuatkan aku jadi macam ni. Keras kepala, tak mahu dengan cakap orang, terlalu mengambil mudah semua perkara, cepat melenting dan lain-lain (yang negatif). Aku ingat lagi, masa aku kecil kalau aku mahukan sesuatu, aku akan berusaha dapatkan jugak walaupun dengan cara merampas. Selalunya abang aku lah mangsanya hihi. Dan aku rasa sampai sekarang pun aku macam tu lagi. Aku orangnya sensitif tahap sensor yang dekat Watson tu. Mungkin lebih sensitif dari itu. Aku rasa aku perlu kurangkan tahap sensitif aku tu, tapi itulah orang macam aku ni memang tak boleh nak buat apa, so aku abaikan je lah impian aku nak berubah tu.

Sikit nya aku tulis ? Keje banyak lah!

Bersambung

I am screwed just because I had the past that I don't even want remember!

It's time to let go of the past and start focusing on creating what's going on and can be done in a positive light in THE PRESENT.It's time for you to start recognizing and ACCEPTING the beauty of things THE WAY THEY ARE.

And it's time for you to STOP anxiously worrying and stressing out over how things have been in the past.You can learn lessons from the past, but you can't change it.That's why, on a deeper level...The sooner you can let go of the part of you that wants to CONTROL what has happened and how things have unfolded... then the sooner you're going to be able to let go and start changing things for the better in THE PRESENT.

So...

Did I hang out with the man I was seeing too soon and change the dynamic of my relationship early on?Maybe. But that's in the past.I can't change things back to the way they were.But I CAN make things EVEN BETTER and different than they were before... if you'rewilling to let go of your fear and anxiety and get to the place where you start DOING WHAT WORKS with a woman.

Hint - what works with a woman is NOT trying to TALK TO HER about all the things that have happened in the past.

Like Hell!

It's hard to accept, but I can't change the past. I can't go back and manipulate things to the way I wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But I can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, I will make mistakes. And yes, I will have bad days - but as long as I let the past go, I'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of me. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day I will learn something so that I keep growing to be a better person.

I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.

And I won't look back. And I won't regret.
Though hurts like hell.
Someday I will forget.

Aja-aja fighting

Sarahsan 14Jan08

Dia Di Tempat Teratas

Reminder for myself.

Hidup ini ada naik ada turunnya. Saat kita di atas, ada orang lain yang di bawah, saat kita di bawah, orang lain pula di atas. Ada suka ada duka. Terkadang kita berfikir kenapa perlu melalui saat-saat duka. Kenapa kita yang perlu melalui saat-saat getir itu. padahal, kita insan biasa tidak lebih tidak kurang dari sudut orang-orang di sekeliling kita. Jangan pernah kita hitung setiap duka lara dan kesedihan kerana perlu kita pasakkan sesuatu yang ditentukan

Why we have to pretend

Let me asked you things,

What would you do when you have your boyfriend around? Would you dressed up nicely and take your best shoes out of the box? What would it be if he asked you to go out? Would you say no as you have homework to do? Would you take your money and go to grocery store to fill your fridge? Would you spray flower scent so your living room smells good? Would you let him enter your bathroom if you haven’t had a time to brush it before? Would you showed him your full-dirty-dishes kitchen, or you would wash it all just before he arrives? Would you pretend your home is your real home though you think its all sucks matters? Would you treat your maid nicely when she broke your favorite mug in front of him? Would you say “Sorry, have no small change” when a beggar knock your door? Would you hold your hick up as you don’t want to look silly of the creepy sound? Would you mind to stop your talking when it’s time to pray? Do you think he’ll fine with that even when you do so? Do you consider he’ll understand?

Now when you’re marrying him for a year or two, will your clothes remain used shirts or you’re still well-dressed for him? Would you forgive him each day when he throw his socks as he like after work, or you simply take those pair and said “Its okay, hon!” Would you cook him his favorite meal even when you’re so not cooking? Would you have him around when you’re feeling blue and mad? Would you forgive him when he made a mistake or two? Would you still love him even when he’s old, sick, and disgusting? Would you wrap your arms around him when he cried? Would you apologize even when you’re so right? Would you still follow him when he said “Come with me?” Would you stay when he asked you to leave? Would you tried to open the door once again? Would you still believe him after the affair? Would you give him a second chance? Would you say “I love you” even when he’s so terribly jerk? Would you mind to say “I used to love you for so many things, and I still love you even when so many things don’t remain the same?” Would you show him how to love unselfishly even when there’s no love left for you?

Have it ever crossed your mind that in the day when you tied up your self in to marriage option, you risking the rest of your life for him? Have you prepared your self for the worst? Did you take a short course to be a wife and a mother? Have you passed the exam of being grown up and ready for lifetime commitment? Have it ever crossed your mind that probably in a year or two, your love flame will possibly died, then you probably think “If only I…” Would you still think that you did the right thing when you have that feeling by the end and saying “You’re right, I’m not prepared?”

quote from someone.

Sarahsan 9Jan08

The sweetest thing that the guys can do..

Smell her hair....
Talk to her in movie theatres....
Hold her hand while u talk....
Tell her she looks pretty....
Look her in the eye when u talk to her....
Tell her stupid jokes....
Just walk around w/ her....
Look at her like shes the only girl you see...
Tickle her Even if she says stop....
When she starts swearing at u, tell her u love her....
Let her fall asleep in ur arms....
Get her mad, then kiss her....
Tease her...
Let her tease u back....
kiss her enough, but dont over kiss her....
Stay up w/ her all night when shes sick....
Watch her favorite movie....
Kiss her forehead....
Write her letters....
If she asks u 2 go 2 a show w/ her, go....
Let her wear ur clothes.....
When shes sad, hang out w/ her....
Buy her ice cream....(i Like )
Let her take all the photos of u she wants....
Kiss her in the rain And when u fall in love w/ her tell her....
what ever she says, just say yes!

My new year resolutions

My New Years resolutions, by sarah san
Local citizen, average rank, age 19 years 10 months and 1 day

1. Stop having lunch or dinner or whatsoever in a public food
2. Never ever again wasting my time to be on time, while others don't
3. Start using my oil pastel again, instead of pencils
4. I will soon achieve self-actualization
5. I will stop thinking so much about sweetalker.
6. I will start thinking about positive things.
7. Getting graduate
8. Save some money, fulfill promises, create a breakthrough, reduce fat (yes way), and do not depending on anyone anyhow, …
9. Buy more books, less outfit, more DVD, less souvenir, more news report, less gossip, more healthy food, less junky, more oxygen, less smoke, more natural, less fake…
10. Trying so hard to achieve all those 1 to 9 resolutions, instead write it down to impresses people.