My other weary...

There was once when I talked actively, but then it was a disaster. I've found my self shutting down, and being told to be good girl by not talking so much in the same way for complaining, because somehow they’ve said that I didn't see the perspective and too naive to see things right. It's been a very tough decision for me and took me several days to debate with my own self. I was confused between shares for the sake of truth of keeps it up for my long term "security tenure". By the end, I choose to follow this way, and indeed, it works. Less I talk, then less people knew what I am thinking off and guess you’re right, it’s much better for my own comfort (I knew this is wrong) but under my consciousness, assuming the condition whereas people in our world are talking in each other back (I realized you already knew this) I think this is the best way.

I don't know much about theory of relativity, I can't make a rational budget, I don't even start to make my own assgment, it will took me centuries to do that within the today’s condition. I'm never underestimate my self of my ability (it just the matter of time, guess I’m trying to be positive here).

People like me, is not looking for anything, I have nothing to loose. I just want everything start well and end well. You offered me many times to feel free to talk to you, but I didn't see that it would makes any differences so I just kept it to my self, but since I'm going, I think you should knew by the end what's on my mind. I am truly disappointed above all, I'm not perfect, but the best I get by involved with all of you in this world is that I've learnt a lot from the mistakes that you are all made. I do have more mistakes, but these become my weakness to take a lesson learnt and look inside me to reflect, I have my high pride to do so. The difference between all of us in this life is just the motivation, some of us work for money, but some of the other really works for living. I am disappointed, that's true...that's why I am standing this way. Sure, there'll comes a day when I'm speaking up to be heard, but I guess that place is not here among all of you, we're not talking in the same language here.

I never loose my hope to you. I'm not critics (that's out of my league), I just want to describe you the facts from my perspective.

Just ignore this creepy massage if you didn't think so